but not today.
I believe that God has His way of jolting you back into reality. We get caught up in superficial stuff, stuff that we think matters at the time, but doesn’t really actually matter.
God did this to me this morning. I was sitting at work and while I was keeping up with what I had to do at work, my mind was consumed with all things BIRTHDAY. Creating the most perfect 6th slumber party for Brittain has been on the forefront of my mind. Yes, it’s been keeping me from all the other more important things that weigh on my mind everyday, but nevertheless, it’s been what I’ve been allowing my brain to think about.
But then I got an email from my mom. And everything changed.
“So anyway… I had not mentioned it but Aunt Susan found a lump in her armpit night before last. She had a 7:30 appointment this morning where they did a diagnostic mammogram. The female Dr. said there was a large mass but she THINKS it looks like a sebaceous cyst. She is waiting to see a surgeon now to see what his opinion is and she will take it from there.
Found this online and inserted Aunt Susan’s name:
Need Prayer for Healing
I know that God can do all things, and I ask you God right know that by his Son Jesus Christ stripes that Aunt Susan is healed. Let the healing begin. Because God is an awesome God and a great physician. I ask you God to touch Aunt Susan from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet and mend her arm.
In Christ name
At that moment I took a few minutes and repeated this prayer several times to myself. (In case you don’t remember, my Aunt Susan had breast cancer 10 years ago. I have written about her several times on this blog. She has been cancer free since the chemo and radiation, but if you’ve ever dealt with cancer in your family, you know that the thought of it coming back is never far from your mind.)
I went through a few different emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, guilt. Guilt because what in the hell do I worry about everyday? Because the things that I worry about, do they really even matter?
I finished my hours at work and got in the car to head home to my beautiful children. I was so anxious to see them. I wanted to go home where I felt safe and where I felt I had a little more control, because two of the people I love the very most were there and they would be in my possession and I would feel at least a little better.
I ended up getting a text from Mama as I was getting in my car.
It’s confirmed that the lump is indeed a sebaceous cyst. I send a text back that says “That’s amazing news. Praise the Lord.”
Today I have not forgotten to be thankful.
We love you, Aunt Susu. And we are so thankful to have you in our lives.