One afternoon when I went to pick Brittain up toward the end of the school year, one of her teacher’s told me that the class was going to celebrate all the summer birthdays since school obviously wouldn’t be in session then. I was sort of confused by this. I mean, I appreciated the thought and the effort, but how confusing is this to a child? It’s not their actual birthday, but they celebrate it anyway? I went back and forth trying to decide whether it would “mess” her up more to celebrate her birthday on the wrong day, or realize that hers was the only birthday out of all the children who didn’t get a special party. In the end I just decided to go with it, but attempted to explain to Brittain that it was merely a “pretend birthday party.” We made cupcakes and provided party favors and Mimi and I attended the pretend special day. Who doesn’t like a party? In my opinion, any excuse is good with me. 🙂

There are so many things I could say about this day that would never do it justice. Celebrating my own mother is special enough, but now that Brittain is here, the feeling on this day has even more meaning.

Because of who we are, Mimi and I decided to make the day as difficult as possible by having Mimi arrive at our house very early so that she could do twin french braids in mine and Brittain’s hair. She also wanted to have her hair in a french twist for the day, which I agreed to do for her. I’m sure you think that 3 hours is overkill when it comes to how much time is needed to fix hair. But maybe you know by now that this borderlines on not being enough time for us. I’ve got to give Dan credit. He kept a smile on his face that entire morning despite the fact his bathroom was completely overtaken by his wife and mother-in-law, and the small arguments between those same two people.

You would think that the most difficult part of the morning was trying to keep a 2 year old still long enough to create an award-winning french braid. But this was not the case. The task that I did not think would ever be accomplished was the fixing of Mimi’s hair because after I worked my magic and she didn’t like it, she then decided to close herself up in the guest bathroom and give it a go herself. It’s the next scene that I’m still kicking myself for not taking pictures of. When Mimi finally emerged from the bathroom she came out sporting the most ridiculous hairstyle that I had ever seen. I literally had to bite my tongue until it bled in order to not bust out laughing…because she was standing there in all seriousness, looking as if she had just come from battle, waiting on me to tell her it looked good. If she hadn’t looked like she was going to cry, I probably would have let out a small ‘ha’ but i just couldn’t do it. Instead, I asked her if she would let me have another try…and she allowed it. Somehow, we still made it to church on time…with hair that wasn’t too shabby (even if I do say so myself).

Before we left the house…Brittain was so playing her Daddy in the second picture. She was all smiles until he tried to take a picture.

Sporting the oh-so-lovely french braid and french twist:

When Mama first saw these pictures she said we looked like the Kennedy’s because here we were being photographed and very obviously video’d by Dan. I tend to like it. I don’t know…for some reason it makes me laugh:

My favorite part of my mother’s day. Holding her in my arms. It’s my favorite thing to do. Always has been and always will be.

The past few weeks have been exhausting. No time for much of anything with work, church, GCA rehearsals and dress rehearsals and performances, and then more work at night until the wee hours of the morning because that’s when the other Stone Soup employees choose to work. So, when a day rolled around that was going to allow me to spend actual time with my daughter, I’ve found myself covering my head with the covers when she would come into my room at 7:30 a.m. saying, “Good Morning, Mommy.” I also found myself saying things like, “Aren’t you old enough to fix your own milk?” and “Can you watch just one more episode of ‘Wow, Wow Wubbzy’ and then I’ll get out of bed?” But alas, after her telling me, “No, Mommy, GET UP” over a dozen times, I’ve dragged myself out of the bed feeling a slight sense of resentment and also an extreme amount of guilt. I got over the resentment after waking myself up with a hot shower. And I got over the guilt by allowing her to have a sucker and Smarties for breakfast. We also played and had fun, so that was nice, too.

Somehow, though, I think she still loves me. Despite my lack of time to be able to play most of the time because I’m always saying, “No, I can’t color with you right now. Mommy has to clean and do laundry,” she still prefers to be with me over others who are actually able to spend their entire visit devoting every bit of attention to her. Even today, at several different random times, she said to me, “Mommy, I love you sooooo much.” And perhaps one of the sweetest moments was when Aunt Susan handed her a $100 bill to give to me and she handed it to me saying, “Happy Mother’s Day” just as excited as if she had given me something that was actually from her. She even continued this “I love you, mommy” streak as I spent 2 hours trying to get her to take a nap and saying things like, “You are going to be grounded for the rest of your life if you don’t go to sleep RIGHT NOW!”

But tonight? All I really care about is the fact that I just sat next to my little girl who is asleep in my bed and I was able to stroke her hair and kiss her on the forehead. (I think Dan might actually allow her to sleep in there with us tonight…it IS Mother’s Day, after all.)

And tomorrow I get to wake up and spend the day kissing Brittain and being thankful that God allowed me this job as her mother. And also? I plan to kiss my own mother…and thank her for deciding to have me. Because life is fun. And despite the difficult, tiring, and stressful times, I know for a fact that there is nothing more rewarding than being a mother.

Thank you, Brittain, for allowing me to be your mommy. I know I’m not always the best, but I hope you’ll always realize that I’m trying. I love you more than words can tell.