During my pregnancy after I found out I was having a boy I went through a gamut of emotions. While sadness and a bit of anger were a part of those, I also began to feel some sense of relief. I had been a mother to a girl now for 5 years. And while you all know I love my Brittain so much that sometimes I think my heart might explode, she is a GIRL and let’s just face it…high maintenance. So, when I really began to let it sink in that a boy would be joining our family, the more used to the idea I became. I began picturing myself a different person, shasaying around, throwing my hands in the air while saying, “That’s a boy for ya. Whadaya do with ‘em?” I somehow convinced myself that I was going to give myself a break this second time around. Turns out what everyone told me was true – I DO love this kid as much as the first one. Dang it! So, when Coleman’s birthday started approaching, I rolled my eyes (at myself) and knew that I was about to start doing a ridiculous amount of work for someone who poops and tee tees his pants.
In case you don’t recall Brittain’s 1st birthday, you can view it here: www.brittain.ws/?p=1029. It was crazy
overboard with handmade hats for EVERY guest. We squz (yes, i know that’s not a word, but that’s what we did) around 40 people into our house for the big celebration, and best of all we debuted “Brittain’s 1st year video” that Dan had compiled of all video clips and photo clips from Brittain’s first year of life. Clearly, there was no way I could live with myself if I planned a simple, family-only, low key celebration for Coleman’s big day. What kind of mother would I BE? And how could I explain that 20 years from now when he’s looking at the blog and sees a small homemade cake with just his FAMILY around him?
So, I began the planning. This go ’round was different because Brittain wanted to be a part of EVERY part of the planning. It was wonderful and we had so much fun together getting things ready. Of course when party day came around, it was really more of a party for Brittain…but that was ok. She deserved it. And I really like parties.
The entire time I was planning I thought several thousand times, “I am SOOO tired” and “Why is no one helping me with this?” and “Why do I not remember the planning of any other party being this stressful?” (A funny side note: One night I was saying these things to Dan. I think I may have tried to lay some kind of guilt trip on him that I was doing all the work for this and he was doing nothing. He finally said to me, “I don’t know why you’re so upset about this. It’s not like I’ve ever helped you with a birthday party before.”) Ah. Thank you, Dan. Anyway, I know, I have 2 kids now to try to find extra time to do things like this, but I have planned one other party since having 2 kids – Brittain’s 5th birthday party. So, during the writing of this post I look back at Brittain’s 5th birthday party. Ooohhhhh…I get it now. That was when we did her party at the party palace place. Where I didn’t have to do ONE SINGLE THING.
Of course, none of that matters now because Coleman’s 1st birthday party was a big success. The theme was based on the only word he could say to date and that was “BAAAAAAALLLL.” We had ball hats, ball games, a ball cake…it was a blast.
And my baby boy, you turned 1. A year ago when I was on my way to the hospital to have you I was excited to finally be able to meet you. But there was no way I could have known the joy you would bring to this family. Before you were in my tummy, I knew I wanted another baby, but what I couldn’t see at the time was how you would bring a different level of completeness to me. I’ve gone through my life feeling unsurmountable joy. When your big sister was born I couldn’t imagine that I could be any happier than I was at that moment. She has been my everything when I didn’t know there was a deeper love than what I already had. The day you were born I felt that same feeling again. It was different in a way because I had already experienced that deepened love. I knew it was there. I knew it was possible. I knew it was within my reach again. You came along and there it was again. You have brought a different dynamic to our family. You brought that same joy to me and your Daddy, but your big sister now knows that love, too.
I am thankful that God knew me better than I knew myself. I am thankful that He knew my capacity for love was bigger than I knew. I am thankful that He knew bringing a little boy to my life would be the icing to my life that I felt was already completely fulfilled.
Happy Birthday, little boy.
Despite all the planning I had done and the good time everyone seemed to be having, once we hit about the halfway mark of the party I was just about done. The running around, coordinating the games, the prizes, the cutting of the cake, my ATTEMPT to also take pictures, I needed a break. My sister’s timing couldn’t have been better because what was getting me through this party was knowing that when it was over I was getting a night at the Ritz filled with yummy food, lots of wine, good times with my sister and my mom, and a spa day. Aaaaaahhhhh.
I got to leave the mess behind and go off for one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a long time. We took these pictures after returning from dinner that night. When the three of us are together the laughter is overflowing, and this night was no exception: